blossom bites need bees

2008-04-10

au coin de st-urbain

100 things

but first! there are two doors on the balcony off my bedroom, the one that swings in just sort of rests against the one that swings out, which doesn't really close very well it just sort of shuts and hooks closed. it's usually pretty chilly, but now! it smells like spring and air! always! even with the garbage in the downstairs hall.
soon, i'm going to take that inside door off. and sleep with feet outside
and get cold and maybe wet when that big rain that needs to fall finally comes and washes montreal.

nathalie daoust

2008-04-08

today's a divisble day

where were you February 4/04?

2008-04-06

oh god

there are about 6 zillion other things more worth being sad about

2008-04-05

purge of my purge

trying to let go of a few feelings right now and finding this requires meeting them one last time as they escape my sensational lexicon, float away, dry bits of history left behind. it's like slow swelling warm light followed by hollow chest and upset stomach and me silently saying 'oh god this is sad'. should i look forward to or dread seeing the last one go? the answer is yes. which doesn't make sense, and is precisely the point. things are verrrry muddled these days, let me tell you. oh god this is sad.

2008-04-04

chewing winter

"I'm going to fucking kill someone tonight,"
he spoke loudly. His voice was heavy with poutine and I ignored him and kept walking home from the bar I felt removed from but had a good time at. I had thought, it's the funniest thing that I am here and stuck thinking about the things that make me feel bad although they're far away. And this time I'm not even sure of how to run. I had thought I thought and then I left because it was time and I was about to become obnoxious, speaking too loud. Everything seems off. I am on and not doing the right things. I don't understand the feelings I should use to create. Run run run run. Seriously? I am, too easy, once again. And it leaves me without very much.