purge of my purge

trying to let go of a few feelings right now and finding this requires meeting them one last time as they escape my sensational lexicon, float away, dry bits of history left behind. it's like slow swelling warm light followed by hollow chest and upset stomach and me silently saying 'oh god this is sad'. should i look forward to or dread seeing the last one go? the answer is yes. which doesn't make sense, and is precisely the point. things are verrrry muddled these days, let me tell you. oh god this is sad.